


He Looked Like Winter and Smelt Like Cigarettes.

by DualityXS



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avoidant Personality Disorder, Depression, Drug Use, Drugs, Eating Disorders, Loneliness, M/M, Muteness, Partying, Romance, Seasonal Affective Disorder, Slow Build, Slow Romance, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Underage Smoking, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-17
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 05:47:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4595220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DualityXS/pseuds/DualityXS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide, a young man of 17 who suffers from Seasonal Depression every winter tends to stay inside for most of the cold months. This winter, however, his best friend Touka Kirishima gets him to come out to a party where he meets Kaneki Ken. Another 17 year old that Hide seems to have fallen in love with. The thing is, Kaneki is the embodiment of winter - everything that Hide hates and Hide is the embodiment of Summer - everything that Kaneki hates.</p><p>This story follows relationships, friendships, love, hate and all the stuff in between as well as an underlying police investigation going on about a group of non-human serial killers called Ghouls.</p><p>More chapters to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nyctophillia

Hideyoshi Nagachika didn’t know what his night was going to envision. At first it was the standard chill at home with a cup of tea and your favourite movie put on the TV. Well, it was all going right up until then when the phone began to screech into his ears. He had literally just sat down, a blanket wrapped around him as he cupped a mug of green tea in his cold hands. His phone seemed like a mile away and every resounding ring seemed to become louder.

 _‘Maybe I should answer it…’_ Hide thought, glancing at the smartphone resting on his desk. The screen glowed in the dim light and it vibrated with each ring, causing the pen pot to rattle. Hide gave in, setting down his mug on the coffee table and throwing the blanket off. He stood, his black pyjamas crinkled and messy as he walked over to the phone.

**\--Touka, Kirishima--**

**—Accept or Decline—**

He accepted it.

“Jesus, Idiotchika!” Hide held the phone away from his ear due to the outburst of loud and slurred speech. “How long does it take you to get off of your ass and answer a goddamn phone!?”

“Sorry Touka…” Hide sighed. Music thundered in the background, followed by voices and laughter. The clunking of bottles and the smashing of paintings and windows and whatnot. Hide didn’t have the mental capability to imagine such things – all he wanted to do was sip his tea and get warm.

“Enough… Get your ass over to Nishiki’s place, were having a party and we all know you can’t stay bundled up in your apartment all winter…”

Hide sighed, he was very tempted to hang up the phone right now. He was perfectly happy being snuggled in a warm blanket watching some random English TV show. But Touka was his friend, and they both knew that being in solitary confinement for too long was not healthy.

“But, It’s cold out” Hide argued. He hated winter. It was cold, rainy, stormy, and snowy. He hated how his toes froze and his skin went pale. He hated layering up and having the heating on full –because it’s a waste of money- and he hated how the sky was a permanent grey and the concrete pavements outside were slippery with ice. Even the thought of chilling wind made a shiver course through his nerves.

“Hide!” Touka yelled down the phone “Here, now”

“But…” Hide ran his hand through his messy blond hair.

“Rabbits die of loneliness, you said it yourself remember! Now move, I’m expecting you in half an hour” There was a loud crash and people bursting into more laughter.

“Fine…”

The line went dead.

“Well, I better get ready then” Hide spoke to the darkness of his apartment.

His apartment was the typical bedsit type. He had a bedroom, bathroom and a kitchen-cum-living room. It was tidy, but it wasn’t messy either. The only mess was his collections of newspaper clippings and pin boards covered in missing people cases and murder cases. The police, a couple years back, had told the public that there was a serial killer on the loose, but recently it had been hushed. The local news reports said the suspect had been caught. Hide knew it was a cover up, and something more sinister was brewing and the government didn’t want to release any information. However, Hide had family within the police force, they were all dead now, but that’s another story for another time… Anyways, Hide’s father had given him a large will and a box of old newspaper clippings and secret files. The serial killer wasn’t human. Now, it was a baffling find for Hide, but bit by bit he pieced it together. And he had discovered that there wasn’t just one killer. There were hundreds. He even spent a week looking back at newspapers from decades ago and it all linked together. It was like a whole new species of human, that wasn’t human.

Hide exited his apartment, deciding to don his black jeans and a yellow polo shirt. His headphones were draped over his neck and he was wearing a red bandana in his hair. He assumed his looked half decent, especially when he piled on 3 fleece jackets and 2 padded coats as well as gloves and an orange beanie. He wore his winter boots, large, chunky and black with steeled toes. They were padded and warm but still his toes froze.

\--

He made his way to his car, stepping down icy steps and into the car park of the apartment complex. Snow was falling gently and had settled a couple of inches off the ground. The wind blew harshly, rattling the bony branches of any trees nearby. His car was parked the furthest away, closest to the exit. It was a small, yellow, Ford Fiesta Ghia, 1.4 engine – small but did the job. He unlocked it, jumped in and drove off towards Nishiki’s place.

Usually he would walk it, but it’s damp and cold and Hide hates weather like it, so he succumbed to the warm interior of his cheap car. The car radio played soft music as the blond relaxed back in his seat. The roads were empty and luckily had been gritted. He pulled up to some traffic lights and noticed the snow was becoming heavier. Thick flakes fell and settled on the car’s bonnet. The lights flickered green and Hide pulled away.

The music could be heard from 3 streets down. Hide was baffled that no form of police had been called. He slowly pulled in alongside the pavement a couple doors away because all over spaces had been taken by the partygoers currently getting hammered and high. He jumped out into the cool, winter air. It tingled his lips and froze his nose as he walked fast towards Nishiki’s house. It was a 2 story building, 4 bedrooms, large living room – you know, the expensive sort. There were people littered around the front lawn, some passed out, others getting frisky in plain sight. Hide did his best to ignore it and carried on walking to the front door.

It was open, so the blond decided to walk in. It stunk of weed, booze, sweat and god knows what else. He wanted to go home, but now that he was here he may as well have a great time.

A familiar looking girl was laying on the couch a few rooms down, she was holding the stub of a joint. Her eyes met Hide’s as she exhaled the smoke.

“You came!” She giggled, leaning upright and resting on her elbows.

“Hey T” Hide smiled as he sat next to her. Touka wrapped an arm around him and gave him a quick squeeze before offering him the last drag on her joint. Hide declined, opting for a bottle of beer instead. He was depressed and he knew everyone could see it. Maybe that is why Touka offered her joint, to maybe loosen him up a little. It was seasonal depression, well that’s what the doctor said, because Hide felt absolutely fine in the summer and absolutely shit in winter.

\--

They night wore on into the early hours of the morning. They were all sat in a circle, Hide, Touka, Shuu, Chie, Urie, Hinami and Ayato, playing truth or dare.

“I dare Shuu to give Hide a lap dance” Ayato giggled will holding a bottle of whiskey. Shuu looked shocked and turned his nose up.

“I shall not be doing that!” He patted down his suit. Hide thought he was weird to dress like that, in such formal wear. They were all 17 for Christ sake. He expected 17 year olds to dress in casual clothing, top and jeans, a hoody, trainers. But no, this kid that sat opposite him defied his expectations.

“FORFIET” The entire circle screamed.

\--

They party was drawing to close. It was around 4am in the morning and all them were drunk. Well, apart from Hide, who had stopped after 4 beers and had actually sobered up again. But still he lay in the living room, Touka clutching his side as the rest of the group slept in a dogpile of limbs and bodies.

The sound of a door clunking was heard from down the hall way, followed by footsteps. Hide, being the super sneaky kid he is wanted to investigate. It could just be someone getting up for a piss, or going home. But something attracted him, and he couldn’t place his finger on it. So he slowly detached Touka from his body and carefully stood up, his head throbbed a couple times when gravity decided to punch him in the face and he carefully and quietly exited the room. He tip-toed down the hallway to the back door. A large glass door with flower patterns etched into it. Outside was a decking, which looked a lot like a balcony, with a railing and everything. There were flower pots and tables and chairs and the odd sleeping kid in one corner.

Hide was sure the sound came from this way, so he trundled on and opened the ornate door with a large creak. It clicked shut behind him where he found himself staring out into snowfall. For once he thought it looked pretty.

But there he was. A kid, about the same age as Hide with snowy-white hair and steel grey eyes. He was dressed in black from his neck down as he held a lit cigarette between his lips. The ash burned away and fell softly into the snow as he took a drag on it. He huffed it out in large billows of smoke before dropping the butt to the floor in a flurry of embers where it finally met its end with the sole of the kids boot.

Hide was awestruck. He has never reacted like this towards anyone, boy or girl. He couldn’t understand his feelings… lust? Love? Care? Friendship? Who knew?

“He looks like winter…” Hide murmured to himself, not realising he actually said it louder than intended. Grey eyes met his brown ones, the boy heard him. He was ready to run away as he cheeks flushed red. The boy walked over from where he had stood smoking. He held a small smile on his face but his eyes looked emotionless.

“Names, Ken” He spoke, offering his hand. “Kaneki Ken”

“H..Hide” Hide smiled back and shook the pale hand. It was frozen to the core. “Hideyoshi Nagachika”

“Nice to meet you, Nagachika” Kaneki whispered as he turned and went back indoors with the click of the door. Hide stood, unable to move.


	2. Brumous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still working on my writing, so please bare with me...

The journey home was a fast one, nearly all the lights were green and there was still little traffic littering the roads. His Ford protested as it ambled up the small hill towards his apartment. The radio echoed the local breakfast radio show.

_‘Another body found in the early hours of the morning’_

His mind was so exhausted and dizzy that he contemplated pulling over and walking the rest of the way. He didn’t want to cause a casualty, especially at this time of the morning. He quickly scanned the area, no cars, and no people. Even if he did fall asleep at the wheel it would only be him with the injury. In a brief moment he actually thought about pulling the steering wheel and veering off into a nearby tree or wall. Then he wouldn’t feel so shit, he supposed. But his thoughts flurried back to that kid. Kaneki, was it? Yeah, Kaneki Ken. The embodiment of winter itself. Just the steely gaze the kid threw upon Hide made him shiver. There was something underlying within that gaze, something Hide wanted to know. So if the Blond really did decide to commit suicide right here right now, then he would never get to the bottom of that stare, and he would never see that sharp jawline, or the pallid skin. He could even faintly remember seeing the bluish veins in the back of Kaneki’s hand when they shook.

“Stop it” Hide spoke aloud, banging his fist on the wheel “He’s just a guy, just some random guy… you don’t even know him…” Oh, but Hide so badly wanted to know him.

The radio carried on the drone of the morning news, something about bodies, a new case of another serial killer. Hide made note to write this information down later. Maybe after having a full 48 hours of sleep.

The little Ford pulled into the carpark in its usual space. It looked so out of place in the dreary winter backdrop. Hide clearly remembers when he got the car. He asked for it to be yellow because it reminded him of summer. The season of heatwaves and suntans and pretty flowers and warm breezes. The depression panged inside of him at the thought of being stuck in this tundra, or maybe he was hungry? Hide was such an indecisive person.

Snow crunched underfoot as he wandered away from his car. The bleep of the remote locking echoed in the dimly lit car park. He pocketed his car keys and hugged himself. The cold biting at his skin even through all the layers he donned. He made his way towards the steps, his apartment being on the 3rd floor, and made his way up. The concrete was damp and slippery, making Hide thankful that he put on his grippy boots. Kaneki was wearing boots too. At his door he pulled out the house key and unlocked it with ease, he stepped inside, making sure to stamp the snow out of his boots on the mat before removing them. The door clicked shut behind him as he noticed his mug of tea still sat on the coffee table. It’s most definitely cold now, like the razor-blade wind outside.

Slowly but surely Hide managed to rip away his clothes and replace them with warm pyjamas in a daze of foggy headedness and strained eyes. He found his bed, falling into the covers and promptly falling asleep almost instantaneously.

\--

His phone was ringing again. He wanted to throw it at the wall and watch it smash into a million pieces. He just wanted to sleep, and not think about anything, especially that Kaneki kid. Still, just like the night before it continued to ring relentlessly. Hide knew it was Touka, she always let it ring until voicemail. Hide opted for letting it do that, choosing to curl up into the warmth of his bed instead. His head throbbed and he felt so fatigued. He was almost falling back into unconsciousness when his bladder decided he shouldn’t.

“For fucks sake” He groaned, lifted the covers off of himself and sitting up slowly. His apartment was cold, again. He thought maybe he should turn the heating on, but that would add to his bill, and he was already tight of money. He slotted his feet into some slippers before staggering to the bathroom to relieve himself.

The phone went off again. This time Hide knew it was something important, so he reached for it when he came back into his bedroom. It was Touka, as per usual, and he accepted the call.

“Have you been hibernating for 4 days?” Touka spoke. Hide wasn’t sure if she was taking the piss or being serious.

“Um, no… It’s only been 1 day since was last met” Hide said, sitting down on the bed and falling backwards into the soft pillows and blankets.

“Um, no… It’s been 4 days” Touka deadpanned, he could hear rustling in the background, and a couple of voices. “I’m out with Hinami and a couple others, wanna meet up?”

“Really…? And yeah, sure, give me another 4 days to get ready” Hide spoke, getting up again and pulling out clothes to put on.

“Okay, met at Big Girl at 3pm, and don’t be late” Touka hissed and hung up, leaving Hide with the string of beeps echoing through the speaker. He set the phone down and began to get dressed. He couldn’t believe it had actually been 4 days he had slept. It felt like he was only out for a second before waking up again. Like when you get put under for an operation and the next thing you know is that you’re awake again. He checked it phone calendar. Touka was right, 4 whole days.

\--

Big Girl wasn’t much of walk, much like the journey to Nishiki’s place. And this time round, Hide actually decided to walk there. It was a standard winter afternoon, cold, snowy and bright as hell. The sun shone down in weak rays, partnered with the white of the snow, caused Hide to burn his corneas to a crisp. He slipped on his sunglasses, hoping he didn’t look to weird as he began his walk.

The restaurant wasn’t very busy, but there was still a queue. Hide had joined it, his stomach growling over the scent of burgers and fries. He had arrive earlier than planned, so he may as well get himself a late lunch while he was at it.

‘I wonder if Kaneki likes burgers’ Hide thought, looking at the menu, chicken, beef, cheese and bacon, fried onions. Hide remembered the thin stature of Kaneki Ken, moderate height, but kinda skinny. Maybe he didn’t like food like this.

“Yo Hide!” Touka’s voice was loud as usual as she came running towards him. “I’m sat outside, and seeing as you are already in the queue, buy me food?” She looked at him with big eyes. Hide gave in, of course.

“Thank youu! That will be one beef burger and chips, one chic-“ She stuffed the money in his hand when she was done and ran back out. Leaving Hide to be served.

\--

The first thing Hide noted was that the table was in the sunlight. The second was that she had brought 3 other people along, one of which the Blond knew was Hinami. The other was her brother Ayato, and the third had apparently gone to the bathroom, leaving an empty chair with a jacket draped over it. Hide set the food down and let them decide which ones was theirs. Ayato with the beef and onions, Hinami with the chicken, Touka with the beef and bacon and then Hide’s, the standard cheeseburger. However there were only 4 meals and 5 people.

“So is this other guy not having anything then? You only gave me 3 orders” Hide asked, studying the worn out leather jacket folded over the wooden chair.

“Oh, he’s on some weird diet thing, something about being allergic to everything” Touka shrugged taking a huge bite out of her meal. Ayato had already devoured half of his when he joined the convo.

“He’s a bit of weirdo” Hinami laughed at Ayato’s comment.

“Who’s a bit of a weirdo?” A soft voice spoke. It was quiet and delicate. Ayato coughed and Hinami laughed even harder.

“Just ignore them, Ken” Touka sighed as the kid sat down. Hide had heard Ken right? As in Kaneki Ken? He stopped staring into the distance to glance at the new arrival who sat opposite him. He was right.

“Kaneki?” Hide whispered, studying the white-haired male. In the afternoon sunlight he looked even paler, even sicker, especially when his skin tone was contrasted with his all black outfit.

“Afternoon, Nagachika” Kaneki smiled. There was a small dimple on his right cheek, and his teeth were slightly crooked on the bottom jaw.

“Hide is fine” Hide laughed and waved a hand. Their eyes met and Hide could see the different flecks of grey that were painted in his iris. All shades, from the lightest to the darkest somehow created a masterpiece on the 17 year old’s face. Partnered with the slight redness of his cheeks and the way his hair fell in small tufts of straight and wavy pieces. In fact, his hair looked unnaturally white and it baffled Hide a lot.

“Okay, Jesus, stop staring” Touka whispered, unable for Kaneki to hear “He doesn’t like it that much” Hide glanced away quickly as Kaneki began chatting with Ayato.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome.


	3. Limerence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this short chapter and how terrible my writing has become..

****

“I’m going to go for a cigarette” Kaneki announced in a soft voice. He stood up, glancing at Hide quickly before turning away. The group conversation they were all engaged in had seemingly screeched to halt, and so, they sat in silence eating their meals – Apart from Kaneki that is. Hide had noticed that Kaneki’s wardrobe was mainly black, and casually formal as well. He wore a button-down long-sleeved shirt, a pair of nice jean-trousers and a set of ankle-high boots. He also wore a white bowtie and cufflinks with small skulls on. Another thing Hide admired was that his clothes looked casual and very toned down. Especially when compared to Tsukiyama Shuu who dresses extravagantly in bright, eye-bursting colours. If Hide had to mentally create a colour pallet for Kaneki it would most definitely be black and white and all the shades and tints in between.

Kaneki disappeared down some steps and into the parking lot. Once out of sight the entire group seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Hide had caught on, rather quickly, that Kaneki had some form of social anxiety and awkwardness. From what Hide heard of the conversation with Ayato, Kaneki only seemed to give small answers, he covered his mouth sometimes as well as touching his chin. He never directly looked into Ayato’s eyes either.

“He’s not very good at it” Hinami spoke, taking a sip of her drink. “Talking, that is” Hide watched the girl, about 15-16 years of age. Her hair fell wavy around her face and her large brown eyes met his ones.

“How so?” Hide asked, glancing around the outside seating area. The temperature was dropping again, and it was already 8 degrees Celsius, and it would drop further as the night wore on. He clutched his sides, wishing he had put on another jacket, or maybe 5. Then his thoughts flickered back to Kaneki, walking around in a simple shirt. Surely he must be cold?

“He used to be mute” Hinami answered, setting down her drink. Touka glanced at Hide, shaking her head slowly as if to say ‘don’t ask any questions’. But the Blond persisted so Touka simply huffed and grabbed for her phone.

“Why?” Hide asked, sitting straighter in his seat due to the convulsions and shivers tearing up and down his spine. Hinami shook her head and sighed, she stood up.

“I need to go to the bathroom” She said and walked back into the restaurant. When she was gone Touka glared at him.

“We don’t talk about Kaneki, okay. He doesn’t like it” She hissed and Hide felt a pang of guilt. The last thing he needed was Touka to be upset with him. “I don’t know much about him myself, anyways, only Hinami does”

“Sorry T” Hide said, his voice distorted from numb lips. He wanted to go back home and bed down with his hot water bottles and his tea, but Kaneki coursed through his mind like an unrelenting wind.

\--

It was getting dark now and they had all left Big Girl. Touka drove Ayato and Hinami home, leaving Hide and Kaneki to stand in silence in the carpark. There was a small rustle as Kaneki popped a cigarette out of the box and into his mouth. The spark of the lighter highlighted his cheekbones as he took a long drag on it.

“Do you smoke?” Kaneki asked, his voice seemed agitated. Hide glanced at the stick between Kaneki’s fingers and promptly shook his head.

“Never tried it” Was Hide’s response. His father always got carried away with discipline, that last thing Hide would have wanted was to have been caught smoking. So he opted to never try it.

“Oh” Came a soft reply full of billowing smoke. They exchanged glances briefly.

“So do you want a lift home?” Hide asked, deadpan. Kaneki looked a bit flustered, he brought a fist to his mouth and looked away towards the snow-covered floor.

“Um, I was actually planning to walk” His voice was unbearably quiet and Hide had to strain to listen.

“Well, just say so and I will” Hide smiled as Kaneki took another drag on his cigarette. They glanced at each again and this time Hide thought he saw a dark glimmer within them.

“I’m going to walk” Kaneki said, his voice a lot louder now. Hide noted the change, finding it unusual for a person to go from extremely quiet to louder in an instant. Kaneki slipped his jacket on while holding the cigarette in his mouth. Ash fell away in a flurry of embers as he took another drag on it. Before Hide could even respond, Kaneki was gone, marching away in the opposite direction. The Blond was left alone in the carpark with the sound of Kaneki’s crunching footsteps becoming ever so quiet. He whipped out his phone, searching for Touka on the contact list.

**“So get this, I offered Kaneki a lift home and one minute he was fine and the next he seemed really annoyed. Like there are two of him…” _Message sent, received._ **

He breathed out a sigh and wandered over to his yellow Ford. It beeped as it unlocked and he sat inside, instantly turning the heat on full power. His mind kept thinking about Kaneki as he rested his head on his wheel, the winter boy, the bundle of mysteries, and the previous mute. So much he wanted to find out. Hide clicked the radio onto the local station after about half an hour of simply sitting there in silence – the evening news – something about a missing dog, another dead body found literally five minutes ago.

“Wait” Hide told himself, turning the volume dial up.

_‘The body of a young male was found only 10 minutes ago inside an alleyway in Nerima, Tokyo’_

The presenter carried on with the address and Hide decided he needed some detective work to clear his thoughts.

He pulled out of the carpark, the Ford grunting as he switched gears and floored it towards the destination. Just outside a small coffee shop near the local dog park. The alleyway was struck between 2 apartment houses, one of which was the shop, called Anteiku. Dozens of flashing lights invaded his eyes as police cars screeched to a halt. Someone was screaming as an ambulance pulled up. A local news crew was also on scene, which was unfortunately blockaded. Hide didn’t have the energy to wander over and take a look, so he simply sat in his car and watched the scene unfold. Snowflakes dotted his windscreen as more police arrived. His thoughts came across Kaneki again, smoking in the snow at Nishiki’s party.

There was a knock on his window.

Hide was pushed out of his thoughts of Kaneki and summer to check whoever the fuck it was disturbing him. Through the dim light of the dashboard Hide could make out cool grey eyes.

“Kaneki?” Hide asked, leaning over to open the door. Kaneki dived in, his breathing was erratic and he was convulsing.

“What happened?” Hide asked, placing an arm on his shoulder to which Kaneki shook off.

“No questions, _just drive_ ” Kaneki hissed, his eyes dark. Hide noticed blood splattered over his hands and face. It didn’t show up well in the jeans or shirt. Hide pulled away from the scene, almost flooring it.

“When we get to wherever we are going, I want answers” Hide grunted, turning sharply around a corner. Hide had a hunch, and he didn’t want it to be true at all, but he thought, that maybe, Kaneki did this.


	4. Shattered

****

Hail fell from the churned sky above. It beat down on the bonnet of the car, producing _clinks_ and _thunks._ The road was icy and extremely dark as both boys entered a part of Nerima that Hide had never been too. It wasn’t as well kept as the rest of the ward. Bins littered the area, there were gangs on almost every street corner and the lampposts flickered with a fading light.

They both sat in silence for the rest of the journey. Hide managed a couple of glances to the boy sat next to him. For the most part Kaneki had his eyes shut, his hands clumped into tight fists as he shook uncontrollably. The blood was beginning to crust over the taught tendons and pale skin.

“Hide” Kaneki whispered as the Blond turned onto a smaller road. Hide looked over again before deciding to continue to watch the treacherous road. “I’m really sorry for this” Was he crying? Soft whimpers surrounded the interior of the Ford as Kaneki began to weep. He tried to wipe some of the tears away, but it only caused some blood to mix and smear across his face.

“In the glove box, there are tissues” Hide spoke and with a shaky hand, Kaneki retrieved a tissue. He wiped his face over before looking back at the tissue now stained with blood. It caused him to weep even more.

“So where are we headed?” Hide asked softly and Kaneki whimpered in reply. It was clear Kaneki was in some form of emotional shock. An Acute Stress Response was the correct term. So Hide decided to pull over. He turned in his seat, touching a warmish hand to Kaneki’s cheek. The boy was freezing cold.

“Kaneki” Hide spoke, a little louder. “You are cold, okay, I’m going to give you my coat” Hide removed his coat and wrapped it over Kaneki.

“I want you to breath okay, in through your nose and out through your mouth” Hide stated, waiting for Kaneki to comply. And after a couple of strained breaths he began to do so. Slowly and surely his breathing returned to normal.

“Now can I ask you if you would like to go to the hospital?” Hide asked. Kaneki shook his head violently, he seemed incapable of forming a one word answer. “Okay, so where should we go?” Kaneki stared at Hide, his eyes wide and bloodshot. His shivering was still evident but it wasn’t as violent as before.

“T…to the… Amaririsu Apar..tment complex” Kaneki stuttered out. He pointed down the street “I…its ju…just down there”

Hide pulled away from the curb and carried on down a few more blocks. The apartment complex was a lot smaller then Hide’s but it was still nice looking. There were empty flower boxes lining the entrance and small shrub-like trees that Hide guessed were fake. There wasn’t a carpark however, so Hide had to pull up alongside the road. He jumped out the car and walked to the passenger side. Slowly he helped Kaneki up who was standing on wobbly knees. He lent a shoulder to Kaneki and helped him up the steps towards Kaneki’s apartment. Luckily the room was on the ground floor, meaning no more flights of stairs to climb.

Kaneki handed Hide the key when they reached apartment 09 and he unlocked the door and entered. He wheeled Kaneki to a nearby chair and sat him down. The apartment was almost exactly the same as Hide’s, just extremely tidy. Bookshelves lined the walls and the carpet was freshly hoovered. Kaneki’s bed was made and his night clothes folded into a neat pile in the corner. The small kitchenette had pretty much nothing to offer and his fridge only contained bottles of water.

“So can I ask questions now?” Hide smiled and Kaneki shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

“Why are you covered in blood?”

“I…Was walking through the alleyway when this other guy was attacked” Kaneki spoke quietly, his hand reached for chin. Hide nodded, it seemed plausible. “And the guy, his… his… throat, was… ripped out”

“Oh” Hide sounded, pulling up a chair.

“I tried to stop the bleeding” Kaneki whispered. More tears fell. Hide ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He leant over and pulled Kaneki into a hug.

“I’m sorry” Hide whispered as Kaneki froze in his arms before melting into the hug. It was a nice hug, nice and big and warm. And Kaneki loved it.

“So you called the ambulance?” Hide asked after a moment of silence between the two. Kaneki nodded his head

“Right, well, are you thirsty, hungry?” Hide asked, standing back up. “I could go for some bacon right now, surely you have bacon” Hide wandered over to the kitchenette. So Kaneki just so happened to walk through and alleyway when someone attacked another man in that same alleyway… It sounded kind of patchy, but Hide didn’t want to ask Kaneki anymore questions. Hide opened a cupboard, no food. He did the same for the others and then the fridge. Nothing.

“Why don’t you have any food?” Hide asked, pulling out two bottles of water. He handed one to Kaneki and took a sip of his own.

“I don’t usually come here often… so I don’t stock up” Kaneki said, his hand reaching for his chin. Again with the chin touching thing. Must be a tick or something, Hide guessed.

“When exactly was the last time you ate?” Hide studied Kaneki. It was obvious he boy was getting agitated again. Just like before, when he seemed to change personalities.

“This morning” Kaneki smiled. Whatever he ate must’ve tasted good for him to smile like that.

“Oookay” Hide smiled back, sitting back down in the chair. They fell into a small period of silence, but it wasn’t uncomfortable thankfully. Hide noted that Kaneki doesn’t eat much either. Probably hence the small frame and sunken eyes.

“Can you go now?” Kaneki spoke, his voice tinted with something painful. Hide was taken aback.

“I don’t want to leave you in this state” Hide warned. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Kaneki who could very much possibly fall back into shock.

“Please, go” Kaneki shifted in his seat, clutching his abdomen. Hide watched with concern.

“Nope”

“You are so fucking stubborn” Kaneki hissed, trying to stand up. He fell to the ground heavily. Knocking his head on the thin carpet floor. Hide crouched with him, leaning over to look at him.

“Kaneki? Are you okay? Kaneki!” Hide tapped Kaneki’s shoulder “Come on, let’s get you to bed” Kaneki growled in response, turning over so he was on all fours, his head was bent down towards the carpet as he shook in pain. Hide watched, unsure of what to do.

“I told you to go” Kaneki whispered, his voice dark. He lifted his head to meet Hide’s eyes. They weren’t grey anymore. More like blood-red, with a black onyx sclera.

“Kaneki?” Hide gasped, falling backwards as Kaneki launched himself up and onto Hide’s body.

 **“I TOLD YOU TO GO!”** Kaneki said through tears as he shook. Drool fell from Kaneki’s mouth in thick blobs as the boy stared hungrily at Hide. Something inside of Kaneki was fighting back, if Kaneki had truly wanted to kill Hide right now, then it would’ve been done.

_“I’m so hungry”_

Hide weighed out his options. To run, or to stay. It was clear Kaneki needed some help and it was clear that Kaneki was the one who killed the man in the alleyway. Ghouls, that was it, the group of non-human serial killers that can be found in every part of the world. For all Hide knew, Kaneki could be the only one in Tokyo. So if Hide ran, who knows what would come of Kaneki, he would probably go on a rampage and kill dozens. If Hide stayed then he could talk to Kaneki and help him. That’s if he won’t be eaten first.

“Kaneki” Hide said as drool dripped onto his chin. Kaneki’s face was ever so close and he could see all the different reds that made up his eyes. From the deepest blood to the lightest sunset and the rustiest autumn. It was weirdly beautiful.

“I can help you” Hide said slowly. He knew that taking it slow would help Kaneki to understand more. The boy growled a low growl.

“I want to help you, Kaneki” Hide felt tears prick at his eyes. “I’ve always wanted to get to know you”

Kaneki began to cry as well.

“I’m here for you, Kaneki” Hide whispered and Kaneki’s muscles gave out and he collapsed on top of Hide. They lay like that for a few minutes, enjoying each other’s contact. When Kaneki lifted himself off his red eyes were gone and he smiled one of the most genuine smiles Hide has ever seen.

“Thank you so much”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are welcome.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are very much welcome.


End file.
